2 January 2012 (continued): Sex Survey & Black Eyes

Sex Survey

In a recent sex survey, it was revealed that 72% of women would give up sex for the rest of their lives for $1,000,000.

In a related follow-on survey, it was revealed that 99% of husbands found it cost far less than $1,000,000 for their wives to give up sex for life - just buying a cheap wedding ring from Wal-Mart did the trick!

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Two Black Eyes

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.

"What happened to you?" asked his wife.

"I'll never understand women," he replied.

"I was riding up in an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her butt.

So I pulled it out for her, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!"

"I can certainly understand that," said the wife,

"But how did you get the second black eye?"

"Well, I then figured she must like it that way," said the husband,

"So I pushed it back in."

- BIG, Big Trouble !

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BIG, Big Trouble !

Ed was in really BIG trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary !

And... his wife was REALLY angry.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.

When his wife woke up she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
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She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
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Ed has been missing since Friday.

Please pray for him.