- GREAT FALL "Rainbows Of Color" (#1)

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GREAT FALL "Rainbows Of Color" (group #1)

- IF MEN VACUUMED...... and Other Thoughts

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IF MEN VACUUMED......

...and Other Thoughts

He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said .. . You wear pants don't you?

He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room . . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . " I do not"

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

- GEORGE CARLIN... A Message

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GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...)
--- Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

--- What a difference a sad event in someone's life can sometimes make.

A Message by George Carlin:

- The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

- We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

- We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

- We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

- We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

- We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

- We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

- We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

- We've added years to life not life to years.

- We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

- We conquered outer space but not inner space.

- We've done larger things, but not better things.

- We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

- We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

- We write more, but learn less.

- We plan more, but accomplish less.

- We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

- We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

- These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

- These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

- These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

- It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

- A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

- Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

- Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

- Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

- Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it.

- A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

- Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

- Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

- AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... Who cares?

---------George Carlin----------

- GREAT PICS Of... 2003 (#4)

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GREAT PICS Of... 2003 (group #4)

- THE BLONDE AND The Female Cop

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THE BLONDE AND The Female Cop

A female blonde was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman cop who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.

The driver dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she asked.
The cop replied, "It's small, square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a small square makeup mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the cop.
"Here it is," she said.

The blonde cop looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Oh Okay, you can go... I didn't realize you were a cop, too."