- CELEBRITY TRUTHS... (Group #3)

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CELEBRITY TRUTHS... (Group #3)

- AMAZING "SUPERBOWL 42" ACTION PHOTOS...

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AMAZING "SUPERBOWL 42" PHOTOS...

Fullmonty Tumor hauls in a 38 yard prayer from Manning in the first half...

(AWESOME !)
Plexiglass Burress hauls in the game winning TD with under a minute to go...

(SPECTACULAR !!)

Bambi MacAfee signals for a left turn during the pregame show?

(PRICELESS... JUST PRICELESS !!!)

- IT'S ABOUT Time, NOKIA !

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IT'S ABOUT Time, NOKIA !


NOKIA has finally designed a "Special" Cell Phone for people who need to make a cell phone call while visiting...

- East Saint Louis, Illinois...
- parts of Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, Kansas...
- Memphis, Tennessee...
- South Chicago, Illinois...
- South Dallas, Texas...
- Houston, Texas...
- L. A., California...
- Miami, Florida...
- Detroit, Michigan...
-Washington, D.C....
- parts of New York City, New York...
- San Diego, California...
- New Orleans, Louisiana...
...AND... parts of Atlanta, Georgia.
*
*
*
*
*

THIS WILL DO THE TRICK !!!

- A "WELCOME" MAT ???

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This pretty much says it all, doesn't it !


A "WELCOME" MAT ???

- WHO WOULD Have Guessed It ??? (Group #1)

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WHO WOULD Have Guessed It ??? (Group #1)

*** Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson Corn Oil in your cat's ear... massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

*** Kills fleas instantly... Dawn Dishwashing Liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas.

*** Rainy day cure for dog odor: Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

*** Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately-without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers.

*** Colgate Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.

*** Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

*** Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 tablespoon horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil for instant relief for aching muscles.

*** Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

*** Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product has never been advertised for this use.

- GUARD DOG FOR SALE

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A GREAT CRIME Prevention Tool...


"GUARD DOG FOR SALE: ...or free to a good home."

Answers to the name of "SWEETIE".

Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore...
...since there are no more thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of those bad guys knew him as 'HOLY SHIT' !!!

- JOKE OF THE YEAR... Clinton & Bush were at a Barbershop

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THIS JOKE HAS GOT TO BE NOMINATED FOR JOKE OF THE YEAR

G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave.

Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"

Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

- As I've Matured... (Group #2)

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As I've Matured... (Group #2)


As I've Matured...

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon... and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.