- TOP 8 MORONS OF 2007 !!!

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TOP 8 MORONS OF 2007


1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP ?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B ???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY !
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT ???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said !".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING ???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED !
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo) !

8. THE GRAND FINALE !!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE :

Under the boat..... still strapped securely in place..... was the trailer !

- ITALIAN CATHOLIC Boy's Confession

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ITALIAN CATHOLIC Boy's Confession -


"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with ....a loose girl".

The priest asks, "Is that you, young Joey Parisi ?"

"Yes, Father, it is me ...Joey."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say Father."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're very tight lipped, Joey Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and try to behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"


"4 months vacation and five new names !!!"
*
*
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Gotta Love Those Italians ......GOD CERTAINLY DOES ..!

- WHAT'S MORE Costly Than Iraq?

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Subject: What's More Costly Than Iraq?

(I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them.) I have included the URL's for verification of the following :
1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year. http://tinyurl.com/zob77

2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens. http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens. http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English! http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies. http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens. http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

7. 30 percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens. http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare and Social Services by the American taxpayers. http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens. http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two-and-a-half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US. http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html

11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border. Homeland Security Report. http://tinyurl.com/t9sht

12. The National Policy Institute, "estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period." http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin. http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm

14. "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States". http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

Total cost is a whooping... $338.3 BILLION A YEAR!!! If this doesn't bother you then just delete the message, but on the other hand, if it does raise the hair on the back of your neck, then forward it. Snopes is provided for doubters: http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/bankofamerica.asp

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***** Social Security Change For 2008 *****
=================================

The United States Senate voted to extend Social Security Benefits to Illegal Aliens beginning in 2008.



The following are the senators who voted to give illegal aliens Social Security benefits. They are grouped by home state. If a state is not listed, there was no voting representative.



Alaska: Stevens (R) Arizona : McCain (R) Arkansas : Lincoln (D) Pryor (D) California : Boxer (D) Feinstein (D) Colorado : Salazar (D) Connecticut : Dodd (D) Lieberman (D) Delaware : Biden (D) Carper (D) Florida : Martinez (R) Hawaii : Akaka (D) Inouye (D) Illinois : Durbin (D) Obama (D) Indiana : Bayh (D) Lugar (R) Iowa : Harkin (D) Kansas : Brownback (R) Louisiana : Landrieu (D) Maryland : Mikulski (D) Sarbanes (D) Massachusetts : Kennedy (D) Kerry (D) Montana : Baucus (D) Nebraska : Hagel (R) Nevada : Reid (D) New Jersey : Lautenberg (D) Menendez (D) New Mexico : Bingaman (D) New York : Clinton (D) Schumer (D) North Dakota : Dorgan (D) Ohio : DeWine (R) Voinovich(R) Oregon : Wyden (D) Pennsylvania : Specter (R) Rhode Island : Chafee (R) Reed (D) South Carolina : Graham (R) South Dakota : Johnson (D) Vermont : Jeffords (I) Leahy (D) Washing ton : Cantwell (D) Murray (D) West Virginia : Rockefeller (D), by Not Voting Wisconsin : Feingold (D) Kohl (D)


(note there are 9 Republicans, including Presidential candidate McCain !)

(note there are 40 Democrats, including Presidential candidates Clinton & Obama !)



SEND THIS TO ALL YOU KNOW.

THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE UNITED STATES NEEDS TO KNOW THIS INFORMATION, UNLESS THEY DON'T MIND SHARING THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY WITH FOREIGN WORKERS .....who didn't pay in a dime.

- MEXICAN DRUG DEALERS w/ Money, Money Everywhere

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MONEY, MONEY EVERYWHERE !

BELOW ARE PICTURES TAKEN AFTER A RAID ON A DRUG DEALERS' HOUSE IN MEXICO. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS???

--- AREN'T WE GLAD THAT WE HAVE AN OPEN BORDER POLICY BETWEEN US? JUST LOOK AT HOW WELL IT'S PAYING OFF........
--- (Notice that nearly 100% of this money is U.S. currency!!! Do you now wonder why the cost of living has catapulted in our country??? I don't... some of the illegal aliens we're letting in can afford anything at any cost!!! And for the ones who cannot... we'll give it to them anyway!!! )

--- I THINK ALLOWING MEXICAN TRUCKERS IN THE U.S. IS A GREAT IDEA !!! JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE MILLIONS OF REASONS WHY.........
--- SEE HOW WELL THESE TRUCKERS ARE DOING? WHAT ARE WE THINKING???
--- AND WE HAVE TWO AMERICAN BORDER PATROL AGENTS IN PRISON FOR SHOOTING AND WOUNDING A WELL DOCUMENTED MEXICAN DRUG DEALER! WHO, BY THE WAY, WAS ARMED AND ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A CONVICTED (BY MEXICO) MURDERER. WHAT AN INJUSTICE THAT IS !!!

--- THIS MAKES A LOT OF SENSE, DOESN'T IT??? AUTOMATICS, SILENCERS..... THEY'RE ALL HAVING A NICE LAUGH ABOUT THIS STUFF AT OUR EXPENSE!!!
--- And we want to give ILLEGAL ALIENS amnesty and NOT build the border fence because of funding !?!?!?

--- SEND THIS TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOUR CONGRESS REPRESENTATIVE.

--- Our country is bleeding from the outside in !!! Don't you think it's time we take back what WE have sacrificed over 140 years for??? I SURE DO !!!

--- Build the fence HIGHER & DEEPER, tighten border control, and send EVERY ILLEGAL ALIEN home !!!

- WHO SAYS COPS Have No Sense Of Humor ?

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WHO SAYS COPS Have No Sense Of Humor ? A Collection Of Their Funnier Quotes:


--- "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

--- "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

--- "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

--- "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

--- "So you don't know how fast you were going . I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

--- "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

--- "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

--- "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog! ?"

--- "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

--- "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

--- "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

--- "Just how big were those two beers?"

--- "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

--- "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

--- "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

- THE POLICE CAUGHT "E.T." In Louisiana !!!

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LOOK... THE POLICE CAUGHT "E.T." In Louisiana !!!


Who would have guessed that "E.T." was here living in a trailer down in Louisiana ?

(I've seen some strange lookin' dudes before... BUT this guy wins the prize !!!)