Thursday, December 27, 2007
- WORST First Date EVER !
********************************
Subject: WORST First Date EVER !
We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake.
This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays.
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be on the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
AS FOR THE "TONIGHT SHOW"... she took the prize hands down ... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Subject: WORST First Date EVER !
We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake.
This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays.
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be on the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
AS FOR THE "TONIGHT SHOW"... she took the prize hands down ... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
- I ASSUME A Wreath Is Out Of The Question
Sunday, December 23, 2007
- THE WIZ MEETS The Prez's
********************************
THE WIZ MEETS The Prez's
We're off to see the Wizard!
Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado.....
And off they whirled to the land of OZ.
They finally made it to the Emerald City.... ...and went to find the Great Wizard.
"What brings the four of you before the great Wizard of Oz?"
THE WIZ MEETS The Prez's
We're off to see the Wizard!
Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado.....
And off they whirled to the land of OZ.
They finally made it to the Emerald City.... ...and went to find the Great Wizard.
"What brings the four of you before the great Wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I 've come for some courage."
"No Problem!" said the Wizard, "Who's next?"
Richard Nixon stepped forward, and said: "Well, I think I need a heart."
"Done! Says the Wizard."
"Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?"
Up stepped President Bush and said, "The American people say that I need a brain."
"No problem!" Said the Wizard. "Consider it done."
Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around... But he doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "Well, what do YOU want?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)