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Bats In The Belfry:
Three Pastors in the South were having lunch in a diner.
One said "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!"
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Do You Know How To Pray?
As the storm raged, the Captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the Captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets-we're one short."
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